The Story of the Sword

I often wondered why a New Yorker would be called to carry a sword. It’s not as if I saw people carrying them on the subway, or waving them menacingly in Central Park. In fact, that was generally frowned upon.

Yet, the image of a sword had been with me for many years. In 1993, I wrote Fragments—a piece about surviving sexual abuse when I was a child. I remember shaking when I wrote these words:

One night, she prayed to the stars in the night sky for guidance. The next day her prayers were answered. In her place was a grown-up, living inside her little girl shell. The grown-up did what grown-ups do. She assessed the situation. She put on her armor and took up her sword.

I must be ready to protect myself from all of them for as long as I have to.

Even forever.

In 2012, something extraordinary happened. A scene in the BBC television show, MERLIN, led me to release a lifetime of anger and heartbreak that I never knew lived inside me.  I saw Prince Arthur unleash his rage at the King,who was also Arthur’s father. He held the king at the tip of his sword. But, in my mind, he was fighting MY father on MY behalf. In that moment he became the one thing I’d desperately needed my entire life but had never know—a champion.

Merlin brought me to swordfighting classes and to a stellar group of men who understood why I was there. Once your’re called to the blade it’s tough to stay away. I designed a sword and took my drawing to a local blacksmith. He brought her to life exactly as I had seen her in  my dreams. When she was complete, I had the words ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART etched on the blade. I named my sword Clarity, in celebration of what was given to me the night a televeision show rewired my brain and sent me on a journey to bring all the scattered pieces of my soul back home.

For over twenty-five years I’ve been writing about dogs and cats and angels and miracles in my books for animal lovers. I wasn’t sure if there were more books inside me, waiting to be born. Now I know that when you think your life is starting slow down the Universe might stop by to fluff up your wings and whisper “Not so fast.” And suddenly, you’re deep in the woods, staring at a hidden door with a note attached that says OPEN.

What would you do?

With all my heart and soul I hope that each of you find your own “Merlin.”

With great love,
Chris